How Daddy Is Doing (Jan. 8 2012)

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“Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.” Hebrews 12:1
William Barclay said that “Endurance is not just the ability to bear a hard thing, but to turn it into glory.”

Here is Nathan with Phebe after surgery.

That continues to be one of my most fervent prayers….that our family and Phoebe’s life would bring glory and honor to the name of Christ. Not simply surviving this but turning the situation into glory.
It is so hard in this environment not to get tunnel vision and get swept up in fear and anger. I believe and can feel now more than ever the difference between peace and happiness. Being happy changes with every report from the doctors or every change in Phoebe’s visible condition. Good report, bad report, good report bad report—–>>>happy, sad, happy, sad, happy….
The grace and peace of the living God comes no matter the circumstance. I have always known this to be true, have preached about it, counseled others in it. But it is more real now than I could ever have imagined before.
So, if you want to know how I am doing…my flesh is sad and worried, but my spirit is full of joy, peace and grace. Life will never be the same, no matter what happens with Phoebe. We are all forever changed. Life has a new soberness and intensity that I hope to never loose.  I feel like I am living in God’s reality in a way that I have never understood before.

About Amey Fair

I am Amey Fair, wife to Nathan, and home-educating Mom to Benjamin (9), Averic (7), Deacon (4) and Phoebe (2) . Phoebe was diagnosed with a rare childhood malignant brain cancer called Atypical Teratoid Rabdoid Tumor on January 1, 2012. She had complete resection surgery to remove the tumor on January 4th and began chemotherapy using the Dana Farber protocol on January 26th. A few weeks ago I was sleeping in the chair next to Phoebe's bed in the hospital when I heard her little voice drawing me out of sleep. It was 3 am and it took me a minute to shake off the slumber. "Mommy I'm a mean girl" I thought she said. "No Phoebe, you're a nice girl!" I replied. "No Mommy, I'm a MIRACLE!" Phoebe said. "I'm a MIRACLE, I'm a MIRACLE, I'm a MIRACLE!" she continued on. My tears welled up and spilled over as she made her declaration. Phoebe doesn't know the word "miracle" nor the concept, she's only 2. It was as if the Lord was speaking through her like a prophetic utterance. She fell right back to sleep and I sat there awake, lingering in the magical moment. Less than 40 children are diagnosed with Phoebe's type of cancer in the U.S. each year. This is why it's called "ATYPICAL Teratoid Rabdoid Tumor". So, I have titled this blog in honor of Phoebe, our "Atypical Miracle". We are YWAM'ers, serving in missions through Youth With A Mission since 1998. Before returning to the states 1 year ago, we lived near Guadalajara Mexico for 3 years. It was during our year of agricultural missions training in Waco, TX that Phoebe began exhibiting symptoms from the pressure of the tumor on her brain. Weight loss, lethargy, extreme thirst and vomiting were her symptoms. We have been granted sabbatical during this time to focus on Phoebe's intensive chemotherapy treatment and are renting a home in Dallas near the Children's hospital where Phoebe is being treated. Like the woman who touched the hem of Jesus' robe in Luke chapter 8, we cling to Him, knowing that He is Phoebe's healer. If we can just touch Him, be near Him, bring Phoebe to Him each day, we have hope. He is our hope. Thank you for coming along on this journey with our family. It's therapeutic for me to write it all out, and in so doing, I hope God will use it for His glory.

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