There is new movie called “Deadline.” It is premiering in 40 cities across America. In each city the proceeds go to a local non-profit organization or cause. They have chosen Phoebe for the Dallas premier. You can buy tickets and watch a trailer at the link below.
ICU is not my favorite. The waiting room is a sea of grief-worn faces, bleary-eyed parents still in their pajamas at 2 in the afternoon and family members looking forlorn, waiting for news.
We are not allowed to eat in the room here on the ICU unit, so we have to take our meals individually in the waiting room, and it’s just sad to be surrounded by so much pain. I feel fragile myself, and reluctant to talk to people about Phoebe’s situation lest I dissolve into tears in front of a complete stranger who is also weighed down by their own crisis. I remember feeling so scared to move to the Oncology floor because it made the reality that Phoebe had cancer really sink in. Now I just want to go back.
It’s hard to say how Phoebe is doing. One the one hand, her heart rate is beautiful at 138, she is peaceful and her sodiums are coming back in the mid-140’s range. One the other hand, her CT scan showed some pockets of fluid in her abdomen typical of kidney failure, her mental status is not changed, she still sleeps endlessly and her Diabetes Inspidus combined with kidney issues is making her fluid balance very difficult. This evening her blood pressure dropped to 49 over 20 after she had 2 huge wet diapers in a row and they had to give her an emergency fluid push in her IV to stabilize her.
They decided not to do the lumbar puncture to test for Meningitis because she is already getting the antibiotic they would give her if the LP came back positive. The MRI on Monday will definitively tell them what they want to know. The CT scan tonight told them that she does not have Neutropenic Colitis, which is good.
Her Oncologist still says that his working diagnosis is that she is septic from infection even though it hasn’t been detected on any of her blood screens. The ICU doctor says the part that doesn’t make sense, even if she IS septic, is that her mental status has not improved with the antibiotics which is usually the case. This leads to concern that her MRI on Monday could possibly show metastasis of the cancer throughout her CSF fluid. A lot hangs on that MRI and we are trying not to get ahead of ourselves, but it is difficult.
Regardless, Phoebe’s mental status needs to improve. She is all “there”, can answer questions correctly if we bug her enough, and will sometimes open her eyes and make eye contact for a split second, but she is not up at all. She can’t sit up on her own, gets easily agitated and won’t engage. So, we need a miracle..our miracle to return to us..to fight back. We have high hopes that early this next week when her immune system kicks back in, she will be looking better. Please pray for us, we are in the thick of it…
All our love to you all for praying and staying with us on the journey, Phoebe is one blessed girl to have the prayer team she has, and so many people loving her from a distance.