ICU: A Good Day


I haven’t actually seen her today because I am still sick, but Phoebe’s grandmas inform me that she had a good day! She is sitting up, throwing the ball back and forth, turning pages in her book, watching cartoons and “waking up” more, and that news does my heart good.

Her CT scan of her chest and her abdominal ultrasound both came back normal with no sign of infection. Her oncologist says her high white cell count is a result of one of the chemo drugs she received and is not an indicator for infection. He also said that her breathing is improved although it is still labored and he is NOT concerned about tumor growth because the type of breathing she is exhibiting is not consistent with the breathing pattern caused by tumor pressure! THIS made me smile most of all today and allowed me to breathe a sigh of relief.

Phoebe's foot as it heals nicely!

This morning, the wound care people came by and removed the dead skin from Phoebe’s hands and feet and they look amazing. The doctors were impressed with how quickly she healed up and how easy the whole process turned out to be.

Nathan’s Mom pulled a 3 nighter with Phoebe because we have been sick and that is no easy task in the ICU. My Mom is on duty tonight and I am so thankful that Phoebe has such dedicated Grandmothers. I am really missing her and hoping that tomorrow I will be in good shape and ready to stay with my girl.

I’m sorry it has taken so long to get around to posting today. I have been resting, doing school with my boys and getting things in order to go back to the hospital. Thank you all for your encouraging words and posts and e-mails. They have been bright spots in my day and I have drawn strength from them.

This morning when I woke up I felt the Lord impress Psalm 112 on my heart. I’m not familiar with that Psalm by memory, and I was blessed to tears when I read it. It felt like a promise to me…

Praise the LORD.

Blessed are those who fear the LORD,
who find great delight in his commands.

the generation of the upright will be blessed.
Wealth and riches are in their houses,
and their righteousness endures forever.

EVEN IN DARKNESS light dawns for the upright,
for those who are gracious and compassionate and righteous.
Good will come to those who are generous and lend freely,
who conduct their affairs with justice.

Surely the righteous will never be shaken;
they will be remembered forever.
They will have NO FEAR OF BAD NEWS;
their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the LORD.
Their HEARTS ARE SECURE, they will have NO FEAR;
in the end they will look in triumph on their foes.
They have freely scattered their gifts to the poor,
their righteousness endures forever;
their horn will be lifted high in honor.

The wicked will see and be vexed,
they will gnash their teeth and waste away;
the longings of the wicked will come to nothing.

Amen! He is speaking to me and comforting me and guiding my heart like He guides the path of the waters, directing it and turning it. Hearing from Him this morning changed my entire outlook today and I am grateful for that!

Please pray for her throat to heal from the soreness and from being raw from the tube. Pray for her breathing to regulate and for her to be able to cough in a productive way. Pray that she will meet all of her goals to be able to move back to the oncology floor and out of ICU!

Thanks everyone!

About Amey Fair

I am Amey Fair, wife to Nathan, and home-educating Mom to Benjamin (9), Averic (7), Deacon (4) and Phoebe (2) . Phoebe was diagnosed with a rare childhood malignant brain cancer called Atypical Teratoid Rabdoid Tumor on January 1, 2012. She had complete resection surgery to remove the tumor on January 4th and began chemotherapy using the Dana Farber protocol on January 26th. A few weeks ago I was sleeping in the chair next to Phoebe's bed in the hospital when I heard her little voice drawing me out of sleep. It was 3 am and it took me a minute to shake off the slumber. "Mommy I'm a mean girl" I thought she said. "No Phoebe, you're a nice girl!" I replied. "No Mommy, I'm a MIRACLE!" Phoebe said. "I'm a MIRACLE, I'm a MIRACLE, I'm a MIRACLE!" she continued on. My tears welled up and spilled over as she made her declaration. Phoebe doesn't know the word "miracle" nor the concept, she's only 2. It was as if the Lord was speaking through her like a prophetic utterance. She fell right back to sleep and I sat there awake, lingering in the magical moment. Less than 40 children are diagnosed with Phoebe's type of cancer in the U.S. each year. This is why it's called "ATYPICAL Teratoid Rabdoid Tumor". So, I have titled this blog in honor of Phoebe, our "Atypical Miracle". We are YWAM'ers, serving in missions through Youth With A Mission since 1998. Before returning to the states 1 year ago, we lived near Guadalajara Mexico for 3 years. It was during our year of agricultural missions training in Waco, TX that Phoebe began exhibiting symptoms from the pressure of the tumor on her brain. Weight loss, lethargy, extreme thirst and vomiting were her symptoms. We have been granted sabbatical during this time to focus on Phoebe's intensive chemotherapy treatment and are renting a home in Dallas near the Children's hospital where Phoebe is being treated. Like the woman who touched the hem of Jesus' robe in Luke chapter 8, we cling to Him, knowing that He is Phoebe's healer. If we can just touch Him, be near Him, bring Phoebe to Him each day, we have hope. He is our hope. Thank you for coming along on this journey with our family. It's therapeutic for me to write it all out, and in so doing, I hope God will use it for His glory.

21 responses »

  1. We have been praying for God to completly heal Phoebe….He is a supernaturel working God…I thank him for the testimony of Mothers love and family……thanks for the updates, daily….what a blessing you are…..

  2. Thank you GOD for the healing we can see in this little girl!! You are an awesome GOD and we praise your name!! I pray that Amey will heal quickly too so that she can be with her baby and I pray that the boys stay well so they can go see their sister. Thank you LORD for letting us see with our own eyes a miracle in process!!!

  3. Praising God this morning with you, that Phoebe had a great day, and her test came back normal!!!! He gave her brand new skin on her hands and feet! He is amazing!!!! So thankful for the Psalm you posted this morning. It really encouarged me in my attitude to serve Him with all my heart, soul, and mind today. Nothing else matters. Thank you so much for sharing, and so thankful you are feeling better. We will continue to pray without ceasing!! 🙂

    Much love and hugs from VA!

  4. Wow – her hands and feet look amazing! What a miracle. It’s so exciting to hear how interactive she is becoming again. God has big plans for her.

    I hope you’re feeling better today so you can visit her. It must have been very difficult to stay away. She needs her Mommy to be healthy so your rest is vital too. As Mom’s we forget that sometimes.

    You are very blessed to have two devoted Grandmas nearby to help.

    I continue to pray for her and your family everyday. Create a fantastic day!

  5. I just want to say Amen to the Lord continuing to heal little phoebe. Her hands and feet look amazing. We are praying for you amey to have strength and quick healing so you can be at her side to see these miracles at work. God Bless You all and way to go Phoebe for all your strength.

  6. PRAISE GOD!~ Her little hands and feet look amazing!~ You just want to kiss those little piggies!~ God is good~ 🙂

  7. I love the pictures! They show what God is doing throughout Phoebe’s body! Aren’t our bodies miraculous! Isn’t our God amazing and faithful and compassionate and kind! I’m thanking Him for giving you those words this morning! Have a blessed day!!!

  8. In these days of forced seperation from little Phoebe, rest in the knowledge that God is with her, and with you. Your children will be mighty in the land. Amen, so be it!!

  9. My dear, this is music to my ears. I am so happy to hear of Phoebe playing with her grannies and seeing her hands and feet so very much better, and hearing the doc’s comments on her breathing. Most of all, that Psalm was very encouraging. What life giving words the Father has left for us in His Word. Praise be to God for His Word and for leading us as we read it. You should print out that Psalm and post it in your house, and in your hospital room to read again and again. I will do the same. Friend, enjoy a lighter day, get well and stay well, and hug your varmits for me.

  10. Amy, I have been keeping up with Phoebe since the first day I heard from a friend of your moms. Our family has been praying for her everyday. I find myself thinking and praying for her on and off all day. I have been passing it down to all my friends and on my Facebook page to be praying for that precious baby and her family. It’s amazing what God can do, sometimes I feel like she is my own because I have been praying for her so much. It’s funny how God works on your heart even when it’s not your child. I am so amazed on how well she is doing. It just fills my heart with joy. What an amazing Mother you are. I’m so glad that you have kept everyone posted on how she is doing so we all can see Gods miracles. I was trying to remind myself and others that when we think we may have a problem to stop and think of those that have things worse and to put things into priority. You and your family have truly been an inspiration in my life just reading about Phoebe. I pray that God will keep healing her body so that y’all can get back to having time at home together. I’m so glad to hear that she is doing better. Thank you Jesus.

  11. Praise God!!! I have been so worried about Phoebe and it is SO good to hear good news! I think and pray for her often and it feels like i was holding my breath for the last couple weeks waiting to read of improvement. I can’t even imagine the relief you must feel for these recent victories! I pray that you will be able to get back to your baby tomorrow and enjoy her sweet spirit again!

  12. God’s love is amazing! I think of Romans 8:31 ……..What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things. He freely gives healing to Phoebe !!!
    Praise the Lord for His goodness!!

  13. Amey,
    Left you a wonderful DVD called born to praise at the gift shop. Also ,was so encouraged and want you to be too with the miracle message. I left you credit so YOU can pick out your balloon or anything else you want or need for Phoebe.
    Praying for you,
    Le Annb3r

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