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For those of you who pray; pray. For those of you who believe; believe.
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About Amey Fair

I am Amey Fair, wife to Nathan, and home-educating Mom to Benjamin (9), Averic (7), Deacon (4) and Phoebe (2) . Phoebe was diagnosed with a rare childhood malignant brain cancer called Atypical Teratoid Rabdoid Tumor on January 1, 2012. She had complete resection surgery to remove the tumor on January 4th and began chemotherapy using the Dana Farber protocol on January 26th. A few weeks ago I was sleeping in the chair next to Phoebe's bed in the hospital when I heard her little voice drawing me out of sleep. It was 3 am and it took me a minute to shake off the slumber. "Mommy I'm a mean girl" I thought she said. "No Phoebe, you're a nice girl!" I replied. "No Mommy, I'm a MIRACLE!" Phoebe said. "I'm a MIRACLE, I'm a MIRACLE, I'm a MIRACLE!" she continued on. My tears welled up and spilled over as she made her declaration. Phoebe doesn't know the word "miracle" nor the concept, she's only 2. It was as if the Lord was speaking through her like a prophetic utterance. She fell right back to sleep and I sat there awake, lingering in the magical moment. Less than 40 children are diagnosed with Phoebe's type of cancer in the U.S. each year. This is why it's called "ATYPICAL Teratoid Rabdoid Tumor". So, I have titled this blog in honor of Phoebe, our "Atypical Miracle". We are YWAM'ers, serving in missions through Youth With A Mission since 1998. Before returning to the states 1 year ago, we lived near Guadalajara Mexico for 3 years. It was during our year of agricultural missions training in Waco, TX that Phoebe began exhibiting symptoms from the pressure of the tumor on her brain. Weight loss, lethargy, extreme thirst and vomiting were her symptoms. We have been granted sabbatical during this time to focus on Phoebe's intensive chemotherapy treatment and are renting a home in Dallas near the Children's hospital where Phoebe is being treated. Like the woman who touched the hem of Jesus' robe in Luke chapter 8, we cling to Him, knowing that He is Phoebe's healer. If we can just touch Him, be near Him, bring Phoebe to Him each day, we have hope. He is our hope. Thank you for coming along on this journey with our family. It's therapeutic for me to write it all out, and in so doing, I hope God will use it for His glory.

93 responses »

  1. Dear Lord –We pray now for this precious baby and her family . Wrap your mighty arms around them and bring this child comfort and allow her to be pain free ! In Jesus Heavenly name !

  2. Praying for your family. Im so sorry that you all have to go through this. Breaks my heart :.(
    Pheobe you are beautiful and you have such a strong family im praying for you all at this hard time.

  3. Oh dear Lord . . . please! I am praying so much and I do believe. Do not let go. I am crying for you, little Phoebe, Amy, Nathan . . . please Lord comfort them beyond our understanding. Thank you, God, for this little Angel.

  4. DEAR AMY, PHOEBE AND FAMILY,

    IF I COULD TAKE AWAY YOUR PAIN AND SUFFERING PHOEBE AND FAMILY, I WOULD. IF I COULD TAKE AWAY YOUR SADNESS, I WOULD – THE LORD STAY CLOSE TO YOUR FAMILY – MAY YOU FEEL HIS PRESENCE EVEN CLOSER.
    SENDING MY LOVE AND PRAYERS ACROSS THE MILES – I WILL BE PRAYING THROUGH THE NIGHT FOR A PEACEFUL, RESTFUL SLEEP FOR PHOEBE.

    WITH LOVE,

    SUZANNE SMYCZYNSKI

  5. I’m praying so very hard for Phoebe… these precious little hands. This picture just gripped my heart. I just grabbed my own daughter and held her so tightly and wouldn’t let go until she made me.

  6. Praying for you. lift this beautiful miracle into your arms and hold her close Lord. Comfort her family in this time of need and carry them through the pain xxx

  7. Our Heavenly Father, wrap your arms around this precious family and give them peace that only You can give. Hugs and prayers from Nebraska….

  8. I know that my wo rods are not enough. In fact, there is no earthly way I can let you know how much that you mean to me and my wife. We don’t even know you but your family and especially Phoebe have taught us more than we could possibly explain. We ARE praying, standing, waiting, and watching with you. May God grant you peace, comfort, and peace during this time.

  9. Our Father,
    As Phoebe is resting and preparing to be with Jesus, be with her family. Hold them in Your Arms. may they feel only the peace and comfort that You can provide at this time. Let them feel your presence in their home. In Jesus name

  10. Dear sweet Phoebe, you mean so much to so many. You haved moved so many hearts in so many ways. I bet you never would have guessed how popular and “famous” (as my daughter used to say) you would become in such a short amount of time. You are loved beyond measure, dear girl.

  11. praying so hard and a believer more now than ever in my life! My sweet Mattie just came up and said “phoebe sleeping, phoebe pretty, phoebe’s momma sad, she crying momma” I am just in tears. We have looked at phoebe’s pictures together for a while now, and I have told her so many stories of precious phoebe along your journey. She has become such a part of our lives. Sending so much LOVE from Colorado. Putting trust in God and his plan for phoebelicious.

  12. Have been praying all day for you, your girl and your family. Will continue to pray and to believe. God is Good!!

  13. Rebuke cancer, rebuke death, rebuke the effects of this fallen world, speaking healing, life, and pleading the BLOOD OF JESUS!

  14. Phoebe, you are needed in so many places, and you are so loved, by so many people, and you have touched the hearts of so many…..As one of your original followers, my heart breaks for you and the pain your family is going through and not giving up on anything, love you all, from the heart!

  15. I believe. I pray. My human heart hurts. My faith knows what awaits. Reconciling them alone is impossible..but with Him, I am able to trust that I can feel the yuck and still believe. I pray you are able to feel His almighty presence…and His deep love for you all. There are few answers now. Those await. But there is trust. Trust in Him to see you through. Trust in His creation and His timing.

  16. Our family (including our four children) keep you ALL in our prayers. Phoebe has become a regular part of our family. We send out our hearts full of love to you. The girls (4&7) made pictures today that they want to send to Phoebe. We love you and will keep sending our prayers to the always faithful, always good, mighty Lord our God!

  17. Your gorgeous Phoebe has already gifted so much to us and continues. My daughter and so many little friends travel this journey finding bravery within and continuing their fight. Through Phoebe’s wise words and faith, you have found us a place to feel comfort, safety and love in the dark corners of the world that we share with others. We pray and hold your very special child so close. So much work you have all done to bring my family to a more significant place. In every way this moment is yours to hold and cherish but in the fringes we are all with clearer minds, kinder hearts and wiser words to love our children to another level, feel comfort in their journey and support and make a difference to all who are in need. This is a gift that will outlive us all…. Thank you Miss Phoebe…blessed we are to share your wisdom and journey and prayers we have for you. Love and Hugs the Anderson’s in Australia.

  18. It is so hard to understand why something like this is happening? I am praying for your family and pray that you find peace soon.

  19. Ex 14:14
    The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.
    Luke 18:16
    “Let the children come to me and do not hinder them for to such belongs the kingdom of God.
    He is always in control!

  20. Sweet baby girl, His arms hold you ever so close. We pray for peace and acceptance of His plan for you and your family. You have touched and changed so many lives little one. The world is a better place because of you Phoebe. God bless and keep you all.

  21. You are so beautiful, Lord Jesus, we ask that your beauty surround precious Phoebe and her family, and that you do what you came to do, to give beauty for ashes and the garments of praise for heaviness. Give us eyes to see the miracle that you ARE doing, in whatever way you are doing it. Be lifted high, be lifted high, for Your glory be lifted high.

  22. Praying for comfort and a peaceful rest dear Lord. Wrap your arms around this precious baby. GOD is the great physician

  23. 1Peter 2:24 Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we , being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed .
    Please notice the scripture says: by whose stripes ye were healed, Notice the word WERE. It is already done. You need to truly believe this. Get it down in your heart. You do not see it but the bible says her healing has already happened. Believe God. He does not lie. Your baby will be fine. Jesus bore ALL sickness and disease for us. There is no reason for us to be sick. Satan tries to attack us constantly but we can thank God he has already given us the option to accept healing or reject it. We do not have to ask Him to heal Phoebe, He has already done it. Praise God!!! What a great God we worship.
    All my love to Phoebe and all her family.

  24. Jesus, please be near to this family, your precious child Phoebe, please take away the fear and pain and fill them with your spirit of peace. Please let them feel the love of you and from everybody around the world who is lifting sweet Phoebe up in prayer. Please be near to them.

  25. I just read about your little angel for the first time. How precious each little one is to God. I try to see how God is working in every situation, although some are harder to see him in. I will be praying for Phoebe, and your whole family, praying you see God in this, and feel his enormous love and peace that only can come from him. Jane

  26. I just came across your blog yesterday, it ripped at my heart and soul, I have never been deep into my faith but while reading all I could think of is dear God please make this beautiful little girl well….I prayed last night for the first time in a long time God is with you and your precious little one

  27. The Lord brings your precious, beautiful Phoebe and all of you to mind often for prayer. I am praying, praying, praying for you this night and will continue.

  28. Joining the faithful chorus of your family and friends, praying and believing, knowing Christ Jesus is walking with Phoebe each moment. Thanking our Lord for the gift of your bright Phoebe! May He send angels to surround you with songs of peace and comfort. Love and hugs to you all.

  29. Sweet Amey….I am having such a time closing my computer for the evening. It,s so strange ..this child and ur family has become the family of so many. You are grieving and we feel the same in our households. Oh how I wish we could be with you and support you right now. Please keep us updated when you are up to it. Spend this time with your perfect angel and give her little kisses from our family. We love u guys so much….God be with you and His jazz angels surround you with comfort and peace….amen

  30. Praying baby girl, I pray you feel the prayers of the saints covering you and holding you close. Praying sweet girl. We are all praying.

  31. Sharing your pain and anguish though we’ve never met. I have been privileged to be a part of the circle of prayer around Phoebe, and I continue to pray for her and all who love her. Only God could use an innocent child to bring people together like this – people from around the world who have never met you or your family, yet are united in prayer and praise in His Glorious name. She truly is a miracle and God truly is not a meanie. May peace settle on your heart and rest in your soul.

  32. You are so beautiful Phoebe. I’ve only just learned of your journey tonight but you have touched my heart forever. You and your precious family will be in my prayers.

  33. Praying and believing in the miracles that will result from your journey Amey!! May the prayers and healing thoughts of the many souls connected to your amazing family offer some strength as you walk through the fire! You are not alone!

    Cheri S Perry

  34. Please know that you have folks in AZ that have read your story and are keeping you and your family in our prayers. Words seem so inadequate. So I will just say GOD Bless You DearHearts and know there are strangers, that are brothers and sisters in CHRIST, who care. (((Hugs)))

  35. Precious Fair Family. We are Praying and Believing! So sorry for your loss. We will continue to uphold you in prayer. Our constant prayers, thoughts and heart is with you during this time.

  36. We r soo sorry for your loss. Angels are singing. She is healed and in the arms of Jesus. Our hearts are heavy but we know not as heavy as yours. We lift u up we prqy for Gods Peace and Comfort at this time. Heaven awaits for all of us to join her. What a reunion. We love you all and will cont to pray for you all.

    Sent from my iPad

  37. I’m so sorry for your family. Phoebe is so beautiful and you always dressed her so lovely. She was an angel on earth and now she is an angel in heaven. May God bless all of you …..Phoebe and your family will be in my heart forever….

  38. I had a dream about her at 4am. Her normal giggling feisty self. Wish I could remember the details of the dream but I can’t. I can however, remember her and I will remember her for the rest if my life.
    She had big plans…she came here to change all of us and then she was called back to her usual angel duties. She’s my favorite. She’s burned her mark in my heart forever.
    -Dr. Ida Noe (Melodee Lenz)

  39. My heart breaks for the Fair family. Rest now little Phoebe. May God provide comfort and strength for all your family. She touched so many lives with her strength and faith. God Bless you!

  40. I’m so sorry for ur loss I have followed Phoebes battle against cancer for a while 😦 it breaks my heart to see her be gone,but atleast shes not in pain or suffering anymore.
    U guys are in my thoughts and prayers ❤

  41. I am sooooo sorry for your loss. I don’t know the words to express to you how you must feel. This picture just brought tears to my eyes. I like to thank you for being courageous and letting people into your world. Your daughter was amazing.

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