The fever came last night, 102.8 and her cheeks flushed. We called Oncology, the usual procedure, and it hurt just a little when they said we could stay home. No need to come to the hospital for antibiotics.
The tumor makes her brain unable to regulate her body temperature. So we gave her pain meds and she lit up like the bright illuminated light that she is. She has had a great day. I mean really great. Family is surrounding us, and it’s an easy come-and-go thing. Pastors and friends from our church have brought laughter and counsel and fellowship and food. And we just follow Phoebes.
Each new face that comes through the door gets escorted to her bedroom where she hosts a tea party with her beads. Hide-An-Seek follows and if you’re lucky, she’ll paint your nails. She has never met a stranger, and the visitors are fun for her. We are being purposeful about living in the moment and not getting ahead of ourselves. Sometimes that is easier than others and when I snuggled her at nap-time my tears soaked her pillow.
I shrink at the thought of her pink and yellow bedroom empty.
It completely levels me.
But for now I memorize the soft, downy feel of her new-grown hair and smell her sweet little arm. How is this real?
This week we will do Phoebe’s special things while she still feels pretty good. We will go to the zoo, have a ballerina dance session with some little girlfriends at a dance studio, and have her birthday party.
Phoebe turns 4 on August 16th and we will be celebrating her birthday early. Right now we are celebrating each moment with her.
Please pray for her little noggin and her back pain. It comes and goes, but is very obviously painful when it sneaks up on her.
Thank you for loving us,