Feeling Thankful

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So many names of people we know and love and who also love Phoebe written in her funeral guestbook. Wish we could have hugged each and every one of you. Thank you to everyone who came to celebrate her life with us. We were so blessed just by your showing up. Feeling thankful tonight.

-amey

About Amey Fair

I am Amey Fair, wife to Nathan, and home-educating Mom to Benjamin (9), Averic (7), Deacon (4) and Phoebe (2) . Phoebe was diagnosed with a rare childhood malignant brain cancer called Atypical Teratoid Rabdoid Tumor on January 1, 2012. She had complete resection surgery to remove the tumor on January 4th and began chemotherapy using the Dana Farber protocol on January 26th. A few weeks ago I was sleeping in the chair next to Phoebe's bed in the hospital when I heard her little voice drawing me out of sleep. It was 3 am and it took me a minute to shake off the slumber. "Mommy I'm a mean girl" I thought she said. "No Phoebe, you're a nice girl!" I replied. "No Mommy, I'm a MIRACLE!" Phoebe said. "I'm a MIRACLE, I'm a MIRACLE, I'm a MIRACLE!" she continued on. My tears welled up and spilled over as she made her declaration. Phoebe doesn't know the word "miracle" nor the concept, she's only 2. It was as if the Lord was speaking through her like a prophetic utterance. She fell right back to sleep and I sat there awake, lingering in the magical moment. Less than 40 children are diagnosed with Phoebe's type of cancer in the U.S. each year. This is why it's called "ATYPICAL Teratoid Rabdoid Tumor". So, I have titled this blog in honor of Phoebe, our "Atypical Miracle". We are YWAM'ers, serving in missions through Youth With A Mission since 1998. Before returning to the states 1 year ago, we lived near Guadalajara Mexico for 3 years. It was during our year of agricultural missions training in Waco, TX that Phoebe began exhibiting symptoms from the pressure of the tumor on her brain. Weight loss, lethargy, extreme thirst and vomiting were her symptoms. We have been granted sabbatical during this time to focus on Phoebe's intensive chemotherapy treatment and are renting a home in Dallas near the Children's hospital where Phoebe is being treated. Like the woman who touched the hem of Jesus' robe in Luke chapter 8, we cling to Him, knowing that He is Phoebe's healer. If we can just touch Him, be near Him, bring Phoebe to Him each day, we have hope. He is our hope. Thank you for coming along on this journey with our family. It's therapeutic for me to write it all out, and in so doing, I hope God will use it for His glory.

13 responses »

  1. So good to hear from you and know you feel “thankful”. There are many things to feel at this time, but praise be unto God you feel this way.

    I was there with Katherine and we waited to sign the book and then forgot. It was so good to see everyone in person. I was blessed beyond measure.

    Phoebe is still in my heart and mind, as you all will be in the days ahead. Those boys are so beautiful and I know their manhood will be better for having loved their little sister.

    God bless you all –
    until we meet again,
    LaNell

  2. Praying for you as you deal with your loss of Phoebe. May the Lord continue to comfort you and give you His peace. Much love to you and your family. I pray Phoebe’s brothers are doing ok. 🙏 I am sure this has been difficult for them. Life has changed for you all ❤️God bless you. Continued prayers.🙏

  3. I have followed your beautiful daughters journey since the beginning of my sons.
    You are the most inspirational parents I know. Your story always gave me hope when I felt hope was lost. When Phoebe lost her battle Not only was I completely devastated for you and your family but more fearful for my son. I felt hope was lost. However you remain an inspiration to me and I will not give up hope.
    I pray that you find the strength to get through your days. Your daughter will never be forgotten, she has touched the lives of so many and none of us will ever be the same, and that’s a beautiful thing. Much love To you all from Australia .
    Leisl

  4. You at the greatest mother I know. You are an inspiration to all of us. Your daughter brought love and joy to the world. None of us will ever forget her. I pray for her brothers I know they’ll miss her so much.lLove to your whole family. Toni

  5. I’m sure Phoebe’s celebration of life service was beautiful. I wish I could have come to have met you and cry and praise God with you.

    Standing beside you in spirit walking with you in prayer, lifting your family up for peace, comfort and joy.

    Blessings.

  6. phoebe and our little angel are playing in the heavens together. they both were fighters with their ATRT and we are so proud of them. their little lights will shine in our hearts forever. bless you family in the days and months ahead. revel in the lovely memories you made with your little one.

  7. Many blessings to you, Nathan and Amey. My wife and I had been praying for much of this time, and we will continue to pray for you all. Your openness and honesty in your writing is a great reason why over 85,000 people like us have “liked”, followed, or prayed for Phoebe and you all. I know that words seem trite in comparison to your loss, but inviting us on your journey has been a great inspiration. Many blessings.

  8. I’m so incredibly thankful to you and your family. To allow all of us to know your sweet Phoebe, so that she became “our” Phoebe too, has been such a gift. Her service was beautiful and hearing all the wonderful stories about her and her sweet Phoebeness brought such joy to our hearts. She will always hold that special place in the heart of my family as she continues on as another awesome Fair family Missionary!!

    All our Love & Blessings,
    Stevie Chambers & Family

  9. Amey and Nathan,
    In my 33 years of life, I am amazed by all that I have seeing by following Phoebes journey. I was shocked, amazed, in tears when I walked inside of a church that was completed full with people from all over United Sates to celebrate Phoebes life.
    Wow, Phoebe did the work of God in this earth perfectly.
    I being missing her and I will miss her. As I left Lindale yesterday a piece of my heart was left behind with Phoebe.
    She inspired me, she made me see life in a different way, she helped me wake up every day last year and have a reason to move forward in the hardest time of my personal life. She helped me find God even deeper in HIS words, she made me into a new person. A stronger women. A humbled one.
    I honestly don’t know how is going to be now that I won’t receive those special emails anymore or get to see her around. But I promise I will continue to think of you and do the best I can possibly do and be the best I can possible be and through Christ who gives me streghten.

    Blessings to you, Amey and Nathan and the boys. When I see your family, I see love and a perfect creation of God.

  10. Hi Amey, Nathan & Boys,

    I am travelling currently but wish I had wings to come and our dearest Phoebe a hug and embrace you all. She has left a big void in all our lives. Just so used to reading the blog everyday….. if possible please post some for pictures of the service and also the link to video.

    Phoebe will always be an integral part of our lives.

    Love always,
    Alka

  11. We are all feeling thankful too, for Phoebe, for each of you, for the faith and fellowship which your family’s journey gave us, for the inspiring reflections at Phoebe’s celebration of life service…Continued prayers for peace and comfort for each of you. Love to you.

  12. It is well oh my soul, it is well, it is well oh my soul! May our God of comfort uphold you with His right hand and give you peace in the knowledge that Phoebe is in His prescence walking and leaping and praising God. Forever in our hearts and prayers, Keever ohana

  13. Continued thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. There was not a dry eye in that church… For Phoebe and for the awesome love your family radiates!

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