Phoebe’s Obituary

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Link to Phoebe’s obituary and more…

http://www.caudle-rutledge.com/obituaries/Phoebe-Fair/#!/Obituary

About Amey Fair

I am Amey Fair, wife to Nathan, and home-educating Mom to Benjamin (9), Averic (7), Deacon (4) and Phoebe (2) . Phoebe was diagnosed with a rare childhood malignant brain cancer called Atypical Teratoid Rabdoid Tumor on January 1, 2012. She had complete resection surgery to remove the tumor on January 4th and began chemotherapy using the Dana Farber protocol on January 26th. A few weeks ago I was sleeping in the chair next to Phoebe's bed in the hospital when I heard her little voice drawing me out of sleep. It was 3 am and it took me a minute to shake off the slumber. "Mommy I'm a mean girl" I thought she said. "No Phoebe, you're a nice girl!" I replied. "No Mommy, I'm a MIRACLE!" Phoebe said. "I'm a MIRACLE, I'm a MIRACLE, I'm a MIRACLE!" she continued on. My tears welled up and spilled over as she made her declaration. Phoebe doesn't know the word "miracle" nor the concept, she's only 2. It was as if the Lord was speaking through her like a prophetic utterance. She fell right back to sleep and I sat there awake, lingering in the magical moment. Less than 40 children are diagnosed with Phoebe's type of cancer in the U.S. each year. This is why it's called "ATYPICAL Teratoid Rabdoid Tumor". So, I have titled this blog in honor of Phoebe, our "Atypical Miracle". We are YWAM'ers, serving in missions through Youth With A Mission since 1998. Before returning to the states 1 year ago, we lived near Guadalajara Mexico for 3 years. It was during our year of agricultural missions training in Waco, TX that Phoebe began exhibiting symptoms from the pressure of the tumor on her brain. Weight loss, lethargy, extreme thirst and vomiting were her symptoms. We have been granted sabbatical during this time to focus on Phoebe's intensive chemotherapy treatment and are renting a home in Dallas near the Children's hospital where Phoebe is being treated. Like the woman who touched the hem of Jesus' robe in Luke chapter 8, we cling to Him, knowing that He is Phoebe's healer. If we can just touch Him, be near Him, bring Phoebe to Him each day, we have hope. He is our hope. Thank you for coming along on this journey with our family. It's therapeutic for me to write it all out, and in so doing, I hope God will use it for His glory.

16 responses »

  1. Amey,

    My heart is broken for you, Nathan and your beautiful boys. I look at her sweet pictures and can imagine you kissed those beautiful cheeks and soft, sweet hands all the time. My four year old becomes quite impatient me kissing her chunky cheeks all the time…..

    You have to know you have thousands praying for y’all, myself included. I was so down yesterday, especially when I looked at Avery, there was a pang of guilt and confusion, asking Him to answer the question as to why. And then I realized it isn’t up to us to ask why, that’s where total faith and trust comes in I think.

    I told my Avery yesterday about your beautiful girl, she said….

    Mommy (sounding somewhat irritated), she didn’t die, she’s Heaven with Jesus. God has a plan Mommy. She sees her picture and it’s I LIKE HER HELLO KITTY SHIRT. CAN SHE COME PLAY WITH ME?

    My Avery and I (& my Mom) are in CONSTANT prayer for you all….. Again, thank you for sharing so deeply with all of us. How incredibly eloquent you are and what a sweet spirit you have.

    Standing in the gap on behalf of you and your precious family, believing the indwelling of the Holy Spirit comforts you in a miraculous way.

    ~ A life that was touched

  2. Still so hard to believe– I pray for strength for your family- I cannot fathom how you all may feel. Im devastated and have never met your family. Amey- I struggle on a daily basis w/ some things, and I messaged you a few months ago on facebook & you took the time to answer me. I went thru 2 things in the past 3 weeks- one a health issue, and still ongoing w/ one of my children and health coverage & some materialistic w/ my other child. and I prayed about them both– I trusted. And both were positive outcomes. Now, its getting thru them — I struggle if there is a God- but your family has led by example that there is, there is something bigger out there, bigger than us humans. I know for everything I pray for, may not come out in my favor- Im definitely not “there” yet. And if I could give up what I have learned from your family to have your daughter back, I would. You were an example of absolute grace and a faithful person of God- And that’s awesome. I am soo very sorry for your loss- words cannot express how I feel for your family- Thank you for letting us share in your family’s life and Phoebe’s. You gave her the best life on earth-

  3. Having not ever met you or Phoebe . . . I feel I lost a very special angel in my life. I’m thankful I was able to be part of hers and your life. My prayer . . . that God comfort and keep you now and always . . . The gift of your miracle child that you shared with everyone. Peace and prayers . . . Jane

  4. I just recently started following your blog and was immediately captivated by Phoebe as I imagine everyone who met her or read about her was. I can’t imagine being in your shoes this morning but I know it will be a great celebration of her life. Praying for you this morning from Lindale.

  5. Turn your eyes upon Jesus. Look full in His wonderful face. And the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace.
    Heartbroken for you and your family, but also knowing Phoebe, the fair princess, is at home and free…

  6. Phoebe has an amazing family. May you rest in peace sweet angel. Amey I hope you keep writing, your strength and love for Christ is truly amazing and encouraging. You and your family have touched so many lives. May you take the time to hide in God’s wings and let him love you and take some of the hurt away. Constantly praying for all of you.

  7. I actually had been told about Phoebe’s story a couple months ago from a co-worker. It broke my heart to hear the story and I never could bring myself to read the blogs because my heart broke into pieces as I was told about Phoebe’s day to day progress. I sit here today knowing this sweet Angel is with our Glorious Lord but, at the same time, my heart breaks for your family. May your sweet Angel rest in peace and know I am and will be praying for your family as you do the hardest thing a parent must have to do for their children today. May God Bless you all.

  8. Having followed your blog for the last few months, it was a sad day when I checked yesterday to see that Phoebe had passed. I am so sorry for your loss. My family and I are huge dog lovers so to see Phoebe and Sadie together four years ago and at the end with him never leaving her side was beautiful. Thank you for sharing your words, wisdom, joys and heartache but most of all…thank you for sharing your glorious Phoebe with us. Gob bless.

    Julie

  9. She is with Jesus and will be there waiting for you to come home…heaven is a wonderful place where there are no pain or tears…she is free and will have a smile for you when to get there.God Bless your family and give you comfort..♥♥♥

  10. Your story has really touched me, and I am so incredible sorry for your loss. May our Lord Jesus comfort you and bring you and your family peace. We will continue to pray for your beautiful family. For your precious daughter welcome home baby.

  11. I’ve followed Phoebe’s story for some time. I feel so honored that you have allowed so many to journey with you. While the distance prevents us from being with you now, please know that we are lifting both of you and your boys up in prayer. We are full of praise to know that Phoebe’s suffering is over and that that she lives in perfection. We are heavy-hearted to know the depth of your grieving hearts. She is precious to all who know her.

  12. Amey and all, I followed phoebe on FB bc of my connection to YWAM Tyler etc. I started school in August and deleted my FB account to avoid the distraction. I used to check in with the blog but then got busy, as we do. Recently we’ve had a LOT of snow in Oklahoma and I thought of phoebe and her wish. And it occurred to me that she may be living in heaven now and so I checked in. And I found this. And I am not going to complain about the snow. It will always remind me of your little blondie who I never knew but who you shared with us all. Thanks. Y’all are in my prayers.

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