I dreamt of her last night


I dreamt of her last night for the first time. She was running like I have never seen her run before. I kept expecting her to fall because she’s never run so hard or fast, but she didn’t, she kept on running and laughing with a group of other children. A lady went and picked her up and I walked over to them. Just as I was about to talk to her and hold her, my son woke me up But it was beautiful to see her so strong.

About Amey Fair

I am Amey Fair, wife to Nathan, and home-educating Mom to Benjamin (9), Averic (7), Deacon (4) and Phoebe (2) . Phoebe was diagnosed with a rare childhood malignant brain cancer called Atypical Teratoid Rabdoid Tumor on January 1, 2012. She had complete resection surgery to remove the tumor on January 4th and began chemotherapy using the Dana Farber protocol on January 26th. A few weeks ago I was sleeping in the chair next to Phoebe's bed in the hospital when I heard her little voice drawing me out of sleep. It was 3 am and it took me a minute to shake off the slumber. "Mommy I'm a mean girl" I thought she said. "No Phoebe, you're a nice girl!" I replied. "No Mommy, I'm a MIRACLE!" Phoebe said. "I'm a MIRACLE, I'm a MIRACLE, I'm a MIRACLE!" she continued on. My tears welled up and spilled over as she made her declaration. Phoebe doesn't know the word "miracle" nor the concept, she's only 2. It was as if the Lord was speaking through her like a prophetic utterance. She fell right back to sleep and I sat there awake, lingering in the magical moment. Less than 40 children are diagnosed with Phoebe's type of cancer in the U.S. each year. This is why it's called "ATYPICAL Teratoid Rabdoid Tumor". So, I have titled this blog in honor of Phoebe, our "Atypical Miracle". We are YWAM'ers, serving in missions through Youth With A Mission since 1998. Before returning to the states 1 year ago, we lived near Guadalajara Mexico for 3 years. It was during our year of agricultural missions training in Waco, TX that Phoebe began exhibiting symptoms from the pressure of the tumor on her brain. Weight loss, lethargy, extreme thirst and vomiting were her symptoms. We have been granted sabbatical during this time to focus on Phoebe's intensive chemotherapy treatment and are renting a home in Dallas near the Children's hospital where Phoebe is being treated. Like the woman who touched the hem of Jesus' robe in Luke chapter 8, we cling to Him, knowing that He is Phoebe's healer. If we can just touch Him, be near Him, bring Phoebe to Him each day, we have hope. He is our hope. Thank you for coming along on this journey with our family. It's therapeutic for me to write it all out, and in so doing, I hope God will use it for His glory.

19 responses »

  1. Amazing what a glimpse of heaven is like for her . LOVED reading this Amey, and no doubt Phoebe is unstoppable!

  2. You don’t know me but I want you to know that a stranger thinks about you and prayers for your family’s hearts to heal.

  3. Perhaps a view of what your Phobe is doing in Heaven! I think God sent you a wonderful message! God bless you, think of all of you often.

  4. And when you see her again, she will be still be running and laughing, and you will be the one to pick her up. Blessings, prayers, and love to you and your family.

  5. Beautiful dream to have. She is healthy, strong and having so much fun. The wonderful thing is that it is so true, she is living so fully with her Lord and Savior!

  6. Aaaahhhhhhh, amazing! love that she was running faster than ever and with other children. I bet her sparkle was one of the brightest in the group. Thank you for sharing it. . .it makes me smile big as I try to envision it myself and hear the chatter, squeals and delight of the group of children. Beautiful!

  7. That is Phoebe in heaven and you will have eternity together. God loves you and He is cuddling you because of His great love for you!!

  8. We pray for you often in our home. We have not forgotten! I am glad Phoebe comforts you. She is in great hands. You will see her again.

  9. Indeed, beautiful! So glad Phoebe spoke to you through your dream. May you dream of her running straight into your arms, with a huge smile on her face as she kisses you!

  10. Dear Mother I am so happy you had such a wonderful dream of sweet Phoebe in my heart I believe it is a wonderful sign to help comfort you. Praise Jesus for His love that is being shared . all of you are in my heart and prayers God bless. ❤

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